Christmas without turkey just wouldn’t be the same
But turkey in the 40s, something I had never seen
‘Til the day my uncle Alex sent that turkey home to us
A big surprise for Christmas, boy that Christmas was a bust
Mom had worked so hard all morning to prepare this special treat
By the aroma from the kitchen; it sure smelled good to eat
When she called us to the table we all came rushing in
To see a monster on the table, where our chicken ought-ta been
It had two legs, two wings, and other things like chickens had, that’s true
But the legs look more like giant clubs, the wings like big clubs too
The neck looked like a tree stump that was stuck into that thing
That was sitting on the table, where our chicken ought-ta been
Where was our Christmas chicken? What was this all about?
When they told us this was dinner, that when we all pulled our pout
They weren’t about to fool us with that prehistoric thing
That was sitting on the table, where our chicken ought-ta been
No one was going to eat that thing, no matter what they said
And so our Christmas dinner was potatoes, eggs, and bread
We sat in silence eating, with no chicken on our plate
Sure didn’t seem like Christmas; those fried eggs just didn’t rate
As we ate we watched our parents, eating at that thing
That was sitting on the table, where our chicken ought-ta been
For many days thereafter we were eating chicken stew
Chicken pie and sandwiches and soup and dumplings too
So one way or another we all ate that blasted thing
That was sitting on the table, where our chicken ought-ta been